Scientific research estimates that between 10% and 54% of women have experienced ejaculation at some point, though the wide range suggests significant underreporting or varied definitions. The fluid expelled during squirting originates from the Skene's glands, also called the female prostate, which are located near the urethra. These glands produce a clear or milky fluid that's chemically distinct from urine, containing prostate-specific antigen (PSA) and other enzymes similar to male prostatic fluid.

Understanding the anatomy involved helps demystify the process. The G-spot, located approximately 2 to 3 inches inside the anterior vaginal wall, serves as the primary trigger point for squirting. This area swells with arousal and becomes more textured, feeling like a ridged or spongy surface. Stimulating this area with consistent pressure can build the sensation that leads to ejaculation, though the experience varies significantly among individuals.

"Female ejaculation is a natural physiological response that some women experience during high arousal. It's not something every woman will experience, and that's completely normal. The key is removing pressure and focusing on pleasure exploration rather than chasing a specific outcome." — Dr. Debby Herbenick, Research Scientist at Indiana University Kinsey Institute

What Physical Preparation Helps Women Squirt During Sex?

Beginning with bladder management addresses one of the most common concerns that blocks squirting. Many women hesitate to fully let go because the sensation mimics needing to urinate, creating psychological resistance. Emptying your bladder before sexual activity eliminates this worry, allowing you to surrender to the sensation without fear of embarrassment. Paradoxically, some fluid in the bladder may actually contribute to the squirting experience, but starting empty provides peace of mind.

Hydration status affects the volume and ease of squirting. Being well-hydrated throughout the day ensures the Skene's glands can produce adequate fluid. Drinking water 2 to 3 hours before sexual activity—rather than immediately before—gives your body time to process the fluid while avoiding the need for frequent bathroom trips during intimacy. This balance creates optimal conditions for ejaculation without interrupting the flow of arousal.

Pelvic floor awareness plays a crucial role in squirting. Many women unknowingly tense these muscles when approaching ejaculation, which blocks the release. Learning to identify and consciously relax your pelvic floor—the hammock of muscles supporting your bladder and reproductive organs—removes this physical barrier. Practice Kegel exercises not to strengthen these muscles for squirting, but to develop the body awareness necessary to release them intentionally.

• Empty your bladder 15 to 20 minutes before sexual activity to eliminate performance anxiety about urination
• Drink 6 to 8 glasses of water throughout the day, stopping 2 hours before intimacy to avoid urgency
• Practice identifying your pelvic floor muscles by stopping urination midstream, then work on consciously relaxing them
• Place waterproof protection on your bed to eliminate worry about making a mess, which helps mental relaxation

Arousal level directly correlates with squirting likelihood. The Skene's glands fill with fluid during extended arousal, much like how men produce pre-ejaculatory fluid. Rushing to G-spot stimulation without adequate warm-up reduces the chances of squirting significantly. Spending 20 to 30 minutes on foreplay activities—kissing, breast stimulation, clitoral touch—allows the glands to prepare while also ensuring mental and emotional readiness.

Body positioning affects access to the G-spot and the ease of ejaculation. Positions that tilt the pelvis upward or create space for deep finger or toy penetration work best. Lying on your back with a pillow under your hips elevates the pelvis and shortens the distance to the G-spot. Alternatively, being on hands and knees allows for excellent G-spot access from behind. Experimenting with angles helps you discover what provides the most intense sensation in your unique anatomy.

How Does Relaxation Enable Squirting During Sex?

Releasing mental control represents the biggest obstacle most women face when learning to squirt. The sensation immediately preceding ejaculation feels remarkably similar to needing to urinate, triggering an instinctive response to tense up and hold back. Overcoming this requires conscious mental work—repeatedly reminding yourself that letting go is safe, that any fluid released is natural, and that your partner supports this exploration. This mental permission acts as the key that unlocks the physical response.

Breathing techniques directly influence your ability to stay relaxed during intense stimulation. Shallow, rapid breathing signals stress to your nervous system, causing muscles to tense including the pelvic floor. Deep, slow breathing through your belly activates the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting relaxation throughout your body. During G-spot stimulation, focusing on maintaining long exhales helps you ride the intense sensations without reflexively clamping down.

Creating a judgment-free mental space eliminates performance pressure. Approaching squirting as an experiment rather than a goal removes the anxiety that often prevents it from happening. Tell yourself that whatever happens—whether you squirt or not—is perfect. This mindset shift paradoxically increases the likelihood of ejaculation because you're not actively blocking it with worry about outcomes. The more you can genuinely not care about the result, the more easily your body responds.

"Relaxation is absolutely essential for female ejaculation. When women are anxious, stressed, or focused on 'performing,' the pelvic floor muscles unconsciously tighten, preventing the release of fluid. Creating a safe, pressure-free environment where exploration is valued over results is crucial." — Dr. Megan Stubbs, Sexologist and Author

• Practice deep belly breathing before and during stimulation—inhale for 4 counts, hold for 2, exhale for 6
• Visualize your pelvic floor muscles releasing and opening rather than tensing when the urge-to-pee sensation builds
• Repeat mental affirmations like "It's safe to let go" or "My body knows what to do" during intense moments
• If you feel yourself tensing, pause stimulation briefly, take three deep breaths, then resume

Environmental factors significantly affect relaxation levels. Creating a comfortable, private space where you won't be interrupted eliminates external stressors. Dim lighting, comfortable temperature, and soft music can help shift your nervous system into a receptive state. Some women find that cannabis or small amounts of alcohol help them relax, though substances aren't necessary and can sometimes reduce sensitivity. The goal is creating conditions where you feel completely safe to surrender control.

Previous sexual experiences shape your ability to relax. If you've internalized shame about female sexuality, bodily fluids, or making noise during sex, these beliefs can create unconscious blocks to squirting. Recognizing and challenging these internalized messages through self-reflection or therapy helps dismantle barriers. Reminding yourself that squirting is a natural, healthy expression of arousal—not something dirty or embarrassing—gradually rewrites these limiting narratives.

Why Is Communication Essential to Squirt During Sex With a Partner?

Expressing your interest in exploring squirting establishes necessary groundwork with your partner. This conversation needs to happen outside the bedroom, in a relaxed setting where both partners can speak openly without pressure. Explaining what you know about squirting, why you're curious to try it, and what kind of support you need from your partner creates shared understanding. This discussion also allows your partner to share any concerns or questions they might have about the process.

Setting clear expectations prevents misunderstandings during the experience. Letting your partner know that squirting might not happen the first time—or even after several attempts—removes pressure from both of you. Discussing practical concerns like fluid volume and protection for the bed demonstrates that you've thought through logistics. When both partners understand that this is an experiment in pleasure rather than a performance test, the entire experience becomes more enjoyable regardless of outcome.

Real-time feedback during stimulation guides your partner toward what works. Using simple communication like "harder," "softer," "faster," "keep that exact rhythm" gives concrete direction. Some women find that non-verbal cues work better when they're highly aroused—squeezing their partner's hand, making sounds, or moving their hips to adjust angle. Establishing your preferred communication method beforehand ensures you can guide effectively without breaking your arousal state.

• Discuss squirting when you're both relaxed and fully clothed, perhaps over coffee or during a walk
• Use "I" statements to express interest: "I'm curious about exploring squirting" rather than "You need to make me squirt"
• Create a simple signal system—like tapping their shoulder once for "keep going" or twice for "adjust"
• Debrief after each attempt, sharing what felt good and what you'd like to try differently next time

Addressing your partner's concerns shows respect for their experience too. Some partners worry about hurting you, especially if they need to apply firm pressure to the G-spot. Others might feel anxious about "doing it right" or taking too long. Creating space for them to voice these concerns and reassuring them that this is a mutual exploration rather than their responsibility alone strengthens your connection. When both partners feel heard and supported, the experience becomes collaborative rather than performative.

Celebrating effort over results maintains positive momentum. If you don't squirt on your first attempts, focusing on the pleasure you did experience and the intimacy you created together prevents disappointment from building barriers. Expressing gratitude for your partner's patience and attention reinforces that their support matters regardless of outcome. This positive reinforcement makes them more eager to continue exploring with you.

"Communication before, during, and after sexual exploration is what separates frustrating experiences from fulfilling ones. Partners need to discuss expectations, share real-time feedback, and reflect together on what they learned. This collaborative approach to sexual discovery strengthens relationships while increasing the likelihood of achieving desired experiences." — Dr. Emily Nagoski, Sex Educator and Author of "Come As You Are"

What Techniques Work Best to Squirt During Sex?

Locating your G-spot accurately forms the foundation of effective technique. Insert one or two fingers into the vagina with your palm facing up, then curl your fingers in a "come hither" motion toward your belly button. About 2 to 3 inches inside, you'll feel a slightly rougher, ridged area that swells when you're aroused. This textured patch responds differently than smooth vaginal tissue—it often requires firmer pressure and creates an intense, sometimes almost uncomfortable sensation that's distinct from clitoral pleasure.

Applying consistent, firm pressure to the G-spot generates the build-up necessary for squirting. Unlike clitoral stimulation which often involves varied speeds and patterns, G-spot stimulation typically responds best to steady, rhythmic pressure. Think of making the "come hither" motion repeatedly at about one or two strokes per second. Some women need several minutes of consistent stimulation before feeling the urge to release, so patience becomes crucial. If your arm gets tired, take short breaks while maintaining some contact.

Combining G-spot stimulation with clitoral touch intensifies arousal and often makes squirting more likely. The dual stimulation creates a "full-body" pleasure that helps override the mental hesitation to let go. Your partner can use their other hand, you can use your own hand, or a vibrator can provide clitoral stimulation while fingers or a toy work the G-spot. This blended stimulation often produces the strongest orgasms and the highest squirting success rates.

• Use firm, consistent pressure rather than light, varied touch—G-spot stimulation needs more intensity than clitoral
• Maintain a steady rhythm of one to two "come hither" strokes per second for several minutes
• When you feel the urge to pee, that's your cue to push out with your pelvic floor rather than hold back
• A curved G-spot toy or wand can provide more consistent pressure with less arm fatigue than fingers

Pushing out when you feel the release sensation represents the critical moment. This feels counterintuitive—your entire life you've trained yourself to hold in when you feel urinary urgency. But with squirting, you need to do the opposite: actively bear down as if you're trying to urinate. This doesn't mean straining intensely, but rather releasing the pelvic floor and gently pushing outward. This action allows the fluid to expel from the Skene's glands.

Position changes can make or break your success. Some women find that being on all fours with their partner behind them provides the best G-spot angle for squirting. Others prefer lying on their back with hips elevated on a pillow. A few discover that squatting over their partner's fingers or toy gives them the most control. Don't assume the first position you try will be optimal—experimentation reveals what works for your unique anatomy and comfort level.

Toy selection matters when you're learning. G-spot toys with pronounced curves and firm materials (like glass, stainless steel, or hard silicone) often work better than soft, flexible toys. Wand vibrators pressed against the G-spot through the vaginal wall can provide intense, consistent pressure. Some couples find that dildos with textured surfaces create more sensation than smooth ones. Whatever toy you choose, ensure it has a substantial curve and you can control it easily.

How Can Couples Practice to Improve Squirting During Sex Success?

Dedicating focused practice sessions removes the pressure from spontaneous encounters. Setting aside specific times to explore squirting—separate from your regular sex life—allows both partners to approach it as a learning experience. These sessions might last 30 to 45 minutes and focus exclusively on discovering what builds toward squirting. Knowing you have other times for typical intimacy prevents frustration if squirting doesn't happen during practice.

Starting with solo exploration builds confidence before involving your partner. Many women find they squirt more easily the first time when they're alone, free from any performance concerns. Using your own fingers or a toy lets you discover exactly what pressure, rhythm, and mental state work for your body. Once you've squirted solo, you can more effectively guide your partner because you know precisely what you need. This self-knowledge becomes the foundation for partnered success.

Tracking what works creates a roadmap for future sessions. After each practice attempt, making mental or written notes about what felt particularly good helps identify patterns. Did a certain position feel more intense? Did a specific rhythm seem to build sensation faster? Was there a particular mental state that helped you relax? These observations accumulate into practical knowledge that accelerates your learning curve.

"Practice is essential for most women learning to squirt. The first time often happens by accident during a particularly relaxed, aroused session. But subsequent times become more intentional as women learn what physical sensations to follow and what mental state facilitates release. Like any sexual skill, it improves with patient, pressure-free repetition." — Dr. Laurie Mintz, Author and Sex Researcher

• Schedule 30-45 minute practice sessions when you're relaxed and won't be interrupted, perhaps once or twice weekly
• Try solo practice first to discover what pressure, angle, and mental state work best for your body
• Keep a simple journal noting what techniques, positions, or mental approaches seemed most effective
• Celebrate small progress—increased arousal, stronger sensations, or longer endurance all indicate improvement

Varying your approach prevents frustration from building. If fingers haven't worked after several attempts, switching to a curved toy might provide the breakthrough you need. If lying on your back isn't producing results, trying hands and knees could change everything. If solo practice feels stuck, bringing in your partner's help might provide the missing element. Flexibility in your practice strategy keeps the experience fresh and prevents the discouragement that comes from repetitive failure.

Managing expectations maintains motivation throughout your learning journey. Understanding that some women never squirt despite consistent practice normalizes potential non-success. Research suggests various factors including anatomy, muscle tone, and nervous system sensitivity affect squirting ability. If you've tried earnestly for several months without success, that doesn't mean something's wrong with you—it simply means your body expresses pleasure differently, which is equally valid and wonderful.

Incorporating mindfulness meditation into your practice enhances body awareness and relaxation capacity. Regular meditation practice—even just 10 minutes daily—trains your ability to stay present with sensation rather than getting lost in anxious thoughts. This skill directly transfers to sexual experiences, helping you remain focused on pleasure rather than worrying about performance. Many women find that meditation practice significantly accelerates their progress toward squirting.

Frequently Asked Questions About How to Squirt During Sex

Recognizing progress beyond just squirting maintains healthy perspective throughout your journey. Perhaps you've discovered you enjoy G-spot stimulation even without ejaculating. Maybe communication with your partner has improved through these vulnerable conversations. Possibly you've developed better body awareness and relaxation skills that enhance all your sexual experiences. These gains represent genuine success regardless of whether squirting happens.

Some women discover that squirting happens spontaneously once they stop actively trying. The paradox of pursuing squirting is that desperate effort often prevents success, while relaxed exploration creates conditions for spontaneous occurrence. After focused practice builds your skills and knowledge, sometimes the best strategy involves releasing the goal entirely and simply enjoying whatever pleasure arises. Many women report their first squirting experience happened when they'd mentally let go of making it happen.

Integrating squirting into your regular sexual repertoire—if you're successful in learning—keeps the experience fresh without making it obligatory. Just because you can squirt doesn't mean every sexual encounter needs to include it. Some sessions might focus on clitoral orgasms, others on penetrative pleasure, and some on squirting. This variety prevents any single experience from becoming routine or losing its special quality. Sexual exploration thrives on diversity rather than repetitive pursuit of the same outcome.

Sharing your experience with trusted friends or online communities can provide encouragement and new insights. Hearing how other women approached learning to squirt during sex often reveals strategies you haven't considered. Online forums dedicated to sexual exploration create spaces where people share detailed techniques and troubleshooting tips. These conversations normalize the learning process and remind you that struggling with certain aspects doesn't mean you're doing something wrong—it means you're engaged in genuine exploration like countless others.

Ultimately, learning how to squirt during sex through relaxation and communication enriches your sexual life whether or not you achieve consistent ejaculation. The journey teaches you about your body's responses, strengthens trust and communication with your partner, and expands your capacity for pleasure. These gains transcend the specific goal of squirting, contributing to more satisfying intimate experiences overall. Your willingness to explore, communicate openly, and surrender to sensation represents the true measure of sexual growth and fulfillment.